Facebook Admission Far Too Easy

The other morning, as I was getting ready for work, I happened to take 3 Ibuprofen, a multi vitamin and a calcium tablet. As I was leaving my apartment, I checked facebook and mindlessly made a status update that read something along the lines of:

"I just took 3 Ibuprofen, a multi vitamin and a calcium tablet. I'm having minor overdose anxiety."

It is an on going joke between myself and my loved ones about my hypochondriasis... and this status was clearly not serious.

Two and a half hours later, I am at my desk at work and I look down to my cellphone and see my mom's friend Donna's name pop up on my caller id. A slight wash of panic runs over me. The fact that Donna never calls me makes me feel that something happened and makes me scared to answer the phone. I do anyway.

"Hello?"
"Are you ok!??!"
"I... what?"
"It's mom. I'm on Donna's phone. Are you ok??? Donna said your status said you took too many pills."
".... Are you serious? I'm hanging up."

**Click**

Deep breaths. Take a deep breath. If I was seriously concerned about having overdosed on vitamins, I am POSITIVE that I would not just write it on my facebook wall and hope for the best.

I really think there should be a test that all new facebook members must take before being given full facebook friending abilities. Something along the lines of...

1. Do you have a child on facebook?
2. Did you recently break up with your boyfriend? (because you are not going to want to see what he is up to now that he's single)
3. Are you depressed or attention deprived (and likely to write depressing quotes about how much you hate your life)?
4. Do you currently have a job? (because if you do, you probably will not want to have a facebook page)
5. Is the whole "internet thing" new to you?

If you answer yes to any of these, you are not allowed to be on facebook. I think it would solve a lot of problems.

Up until a few months ago, my mother and all of her friends were not able to see my status updates or my wall posts. Trying to be a nice daughter (and after her begging), I gave my mother wall privileges. The first day she was allowed to write on my wall, she wrote a comment that said: "You are so beautiful and smart and the best friend and daughter in the whole world!"

 Clearly I am going to have to revoke these privileges.