I've been having a lot of bathroom thoughts as of late.
There is NOTHING I hate more than to go into a bathroom stall that looks relatively clean, drop my drawers (jeans, tights, leggings...skirt...whatever) and take a seat only to find myself seconds later cringing at the fact that I am now sitting in someones pee and/or splashed toilet bowl water. To be honest, I'm not sure which of those is worse.
A little drop of water I understand. But it's those days when the WHOLE damn toilet seat is COVERED with whatever looming liquid that I begin to suspect it is the workings of none other than a squatter.
Personally, I am a sitter. I'm a high danger squatter... but primarily a sitter. For those of you who don't know, "high danger squatter" means that only in the worst, dirtiest, scariest, darkest, "townie" bathrooms will I give in to the terrible experience of squatting. To squat means to engage thigh muscles I don't typically use, hold on to whatever is nearest, and hover over the toilet seat hoping that you don't piss the floor and praying that it is going to be a quick pee... and discovering that you never really knew how long you took to pee until you stood awkwardly shaking over a toilet bowl, trying to "aim," relieving yourself.
I just don't see the point of squatting over a perfectly clean toilet at my work in a building that I am at every day. Besides, I don't remember the last time I heard of someone's upper thighs giving off or receiving any STDs or infections. I'm pretty sure it isn't a place where most people sweat, bleed or do anything else that would be gross to share. The only crime an upper-back-thigh commits is cellulite. Last time I checked, that isn't contagious.
So for all you squatters out there... think about your fellow sitters. My only solution is that we respect our kind and leave the seat ready for the next user.
And yet... if we were men, this point would be moot... but would we really want to pee into urinals?
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